Good People Taking Care of Good People Means Good Business
“I’m only 42. She’s only 67. I thought Alzheimer’s was an old person’s disease. My mother is driving me crazy…and I don’t want to say that out loud. It’s not her fault. For so many years, she’s been my rock, my role model, my confidant. But not anymore. I’m her rock, and my father’s, and my sister’s, and my brother’s, too. And my kids are so busy in high school. My husband, God bless him, tries so hard to keep us sane. Some weeks it’s a zoo around here. I really don’t know how we’re maintaining. We just keep plugging away, but can anyone really survive doing this for very long? …”
This was the first few minutes of a very long phone call I received at 9 pm the other night. She needed to vent and I needed to provide some “just right” answers.
This is the quality of life experienced by many of the so-called “sandwiched” generation, raising their own families and simultaneously caring for aging parents. They are trying to be SuperMoms and SuperDaughters; SuperDads and SuperSons. Working all day, taking care of their own children (and maybe even grandchildren), and then coming home at night to start their second job taking care of their parents. They do so gladly and respectfully, yet with great burden.
And it’s not just the “busy-ness” of caregiving that is burdensome. Caregivers of persons with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias shoulder a particularly heavy burden of care. The real burden is the mental stress and the anguish of watching a parent slowly lose his or her mind. While only one person is diagnosed with the disease, dementia impacts each and every family member for a very long time.
These same sons and daughters are the ones calling in late to work because there’s a crisis at home, leaving at lunch time to make sure their parent and the house is safe, and occasionally leaving work early to take Mom to the doctor or to run errands. Nearly one-fifth of all workers are caregivers. 67% of working caregivers report that they miss work because of their caregiving responsibilities. In fact, 27% of all unscheduled absences are due to family issues. Twenty seven percent.
Multiply that 27% by the number of Baby Boomers hitting the prime ages of either caring for an aging parent with dementia, or being diagnosed with dementia themselves. The Baby Boomers were born between 1946 and 1964, making them 62 to 44 years of age. At 62, 10% will be diagnosed with dementia.
Our workforces and their families are burdened and in need of relief. The primary caregiver for a person with dementia is generally (but not always) a daughter, 45 to 55 years of age, whose siblings live seven hours apart. One in four of you reading this has already been impacted by dementia in your families and close associations, yet our companies may offer little beyond a referral source.
How can you and your business or business organization be a catalyst for relief?
It starts by identifying your colleagues, employees, friends, relatives, and neighbors who are fading under the heavy burden of caring for an aging parent with dementia. Often, they won’t complain, but you can see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices when you simply ask, “How’s your family?”
Offer flexibility in work hours and workplaces to employees who demonstrate responsibility in accessing that option.
Implement a decision support service, run by a professional provider network, which tailors “just in time” solutions for individual employees and their families, including
- Individualized relief plans for the employee, his/her family, and aging relative based upon a thorough assessment
- Training for caregivers and supervisors
- Consultation on stress relief and healthy stress management practices
- Training and consultation in managing the crises and complexities of the disease issues
- Organization of community-wide partners for relief
- Education of those partners about the struggles of families facing Alzheimer’s and related dementias
Activate the responsible network 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Family crises do not usually happen at 2 pm on a Tuesday; they happen at 9 pm on Thursdays and 3 am on Saturdays and 11 pm on Sundays. The network is of no service if it is unavailable when needed.
And here’s the really important step – the culture of the workplace must support the services, benefits, and policies that are in place in order to be fully accessible to those in need.
Anyway you look at it, good people taking care of good people is good business.
Written by Ellen Dunnigan
CEO Alzheimer’s Care Group/Sollievo
www.alzcaregroup.com www.mysollievo.com
